Offering Decolonised Womb Health Education as a Toolbox—a Portal to understand the Self Better, integrated and rooted in both Clinical Knowledge and the Traditional, where our Roots and the Current times are blended and taught,
Through Accessible and Affordable Learning, we support WomXn in reconnecting with the Rhythms of their Bodies and the Ecological World.
For this Education to be a right of Liberty, a right, not a Privilege only found in neo-colonial predominantly white-spaces.
Offering Decolonised Womb Health Education as a Toolbox—a Portal to understand the Self Better, integrated and rooted in both Clinical Knowledge and the Traditional, where our Roots and the Current times are blended and taught,
Through Accessible and Affordable Learning, we support WomXn in reconnecting with the Rhythms of their Bodies and the Ecological World.
For this Education to be a right of Liberty, a right, not a Privilege only found in neo-colonial predominantly white-spaces.
I envision a World where Womb Health is recognized as an essential part of Overall Wellbeing –
Where WomXn no longer have to endure Pain or Live with Cycle Dysregulation. Instead, they are Empowered with Knowledge to understand and Manage their cycles with Confidence and Clarity.
I envision a time where Womb Health Education is Education that is Decolonised, it is Accessible and Practical.
That this Knowledge is shared across Communities, and is passed down through Generations, ensuring that Womb Health is linked to enhancing Daily Pleasure, Sovereignty and Wholeness. Rooted in connection to themselves, and the natural world.
I envision a World where Womb Health is recognized as an essential part of Overall Wellbeing –
Where WomXn no longer have to endure Pain or Live with Cycle Dysregulation. Instead, they are Empowered with Knowledge to understand and Manage their cycles with Confidence and Clarity.
I envision a time where Womb Health Education is Education that is Decolonised, it is Accessible and Practical.
That this Knowledge is shared across Communities, and is passed down through Generations, ensuring that Womb Health is linked to enhancing Daily Pleasure, Sovereignty and Wholeness. Rooted in connection to themselves, and the natural world.
1 hour Consultation & individual Curated Plan
Consultation, Preparation, Herbal Cleansing Baths for Ending & Releasing Cycles, Preparing the Body, Nutrition, Excercise, Health
Partnership Work & Calling the Spirit of the Baby
Interactive Workshops jam packed full of information ranging from topics such as Puberty, Menarchy, Body Image, the Current Medical System, Coming off the Pill
These sessions, both are informational, but also have elements of interaction, through curated questions and sharing.
We heal in community, and these workshops give an opportunity to learn in a group setting, and for curiosity to be sparked.
The Four Seasons of your Cycle, is a 4 Week Online Course, which breaks down your Menstrual Cycle, week by week, through the Seasons.
Your Menstrual Cycle, mimics the Seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn. Through the Seasons, we can begin to observe the needs of the Cycle, and how it shows up in our Physiology. With over 12 years of Endometriosis and Menstrual Cycle Research, using my Pharmaceutical Brain combined with the Cultural and Eastern Holistic methods I have gathered and experimented and learnt these last 8 years.
Do you have an indiviudal complaint, and want to work 1:1 with me?
I provide a 1:1 Consutation service, where I take an hour to take your History and anything you feel that would be useful for me to know, in regards to your Complaint. I have a system of Questions, I run through, and use the Holsitic and Ecological approach that we are not ‘separate’ from our Environments, that our lived experiences affects our Menstrual Health, our bodies and lives are dynamic and so we must treat it as such.
After the session, I take some time to curate a unique Individual Plan for you, which is emailed to you and you can contact me on email, if you have any further questions.
I provide a Tailor Made Preparation Programme for your Pregnancy. This Preganany preparation can be started years in advance, and is advised for up to 2 years as a minimum. Bringing a Baby into this Earth is a beautiful mission, and calling and preparing intentionally can allow you to have an extremely radiant pregnancy with your partner.
I take a 1:1 Consultation service, as I do with all clients, and I then prepare the necessary Cleansing Herbal Baths that are necessary. We look at a variety of areas regarding Menstrual health, the Body and Nutrition, the Body and Strength and Wellness, as well as exploring the dynamic of preparation in Partnership and Love, and together calling in the Spirit of your Baby.
Interactive Workshops jam packed full of information ranging from topics such as Puberty, Menarchy, Body Image, the Current Medical System, Coming off the Pill
These sessions, both are informational, but also have elements of interaction, through curated questions and sharing.
We heal in community, and these workshops give an opportunity to learn in a group setting, and for curiosity to be sparked.
The Four Seasons of your Cycle, is a 6 Week Online Course, which breaks down your Menstrual Cycle, week by week, through the Seasons.
Your Menstrual Cycle, mimics the Seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn. Through the Seasons, we can begin to observe the needs of the Cycle, and how it shows up in our Physiology. With over 10 years of Endometriosis and Menstrual Cycle Research, using my Pharmaceutical Brain combined with the Cultural and Eastern Holistic methods I have gathered and experimented and learnt these last 7 years.
Do you have an indiviudal complaint, and want to work 1:1 with me?
I provide a 1:1 Consutation service, where I take an hour to take your History and anything you feel that would be useful for me to know, in regards to your Complaint. I have a system of Questions, I run through, and use the Holsitic and Ecological approach that we are not ‘separate’ from our Environments, that our lived experiences affects our Menstrual Health, our bodies and lives are dynamic and so we must treat it as such.
After the session, I take some time to curate a unique Individual Plan for you, which is emailed to you and you can contact me on email, if you have any further questions.
Interactive Workshops jam packed full of information ranging from topics such as Puberty, Menarchy, Body Image, the Current Medical System, Coming off the Pill
These sessions, both are informational, but also have elements of interaction, through curated questions and sharing.
We heal in community, and these workshops give an opportunity to learn in a group setting, and for curiosity to be sparked.
the 4 Seasons of your Cycle, is a 6 Week Online Course, which breaks down your Menstrual Cycle, week by week, through the Seasons.
Your Menstrual Cycle, mimics the Seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn. Through the Seasons, we can begin to observe the needs of the Cycle, and how it shows up in our Physiology. With over 10 years of Endometriosis and Menstrual Cycle Research, using my Pharmaceutical Brain combined with the Cultural and Eastern Holistic methods I have gathered and experimented and learnt these last 7 years.
Do you have an indiviudal complaint, and want to work 1:1 with me?
I provide a 1:1 Consutation service, where I take an hour to take your History and anything you feel that would be useful for me to know, in regards to your Complaint. I have a system of Questions, I run through, and use the Holsitic and Ecological approach that we are not ‘separate’ from our Environments, that our lived experiences affects our Menstrual Health, our bodies and lives are dynamic and so we must treat it as such.
After the session, I take some time to curate a unique Individual Plan for you, which is emailed to you and you can contact me on email, if you have any further questions.
When working with me, these pillars will remain the pillars upon which we will rotate around: to provide a foundation for me to understand your Story, and for you to be able to Map out the Road Map upon which we will work to help unpick apart the Story of your Womb
USING NATURE AS OUR GUIDE & UNDERSTANDING THE PHARMACOLOGICAL & PHYSIOLOGICAL BODY
USING NATURE AS OUR GUIDE & UNDERSTANDING THE PHARMACOLOGICAL & PHYSIOLOGICAL BODY
Our Menstrual Cycle, is an intelligent system of the Female Body. It is weaved into the Centre of us, and plays a role like the Sun does in in the Solar System. If we pay Attention to the details of how our Biology functions, how our Hormones dance in a Cycle, how everything from the food we eat, to what we put onto our skin, the stress we hold in our body, to the relationships we have around us, affects our Beings.
We can begin using this dance of hormones to our advantage, by paying attention to, and understanding the Menstrual Cycle on a Pharmacological and Physiological and Holistic level, we can notice the subtelities of our day to days, the hormonal influence on what that means for our bodily needs, dietary wise, rest wise, energy wise, and therefore we can shape our whole lives around the centre that dictates and has influence on the whole of us.
Our Menstrual Cycle, holds the potential of Life every Month. Depending on what you Create, whether you Birth Projects or whether you Birth through a Physical Soul and Life, there is a monthly Death & Life cycle that either sheds or forms onto build onto the next cycle. An Inner Monthly cycle which reveals to you what needs to be tended to, what needs to be nurtured, and what will live and what will Die.
Fusing Ecology, Holistic Living and Science of the Body we can form an Insight into how we can Live with our Cycles instead of rejecting what is within our Centres. We can Use our cycles to our advantage, and have your Menstrual Cycle work with you, rather against you.
Cycle Tracking, educating yourself on your Body, and Thriving by enhancing your Quality of Life, is your Path to Sovereignty and Liberation
USING NATURE AS OUR GUIDE & UNDERSTANDING THE PHARMACOLOGICAL & PHYSIOLOGICAL BODY
Our Menstrual Cycle, is an intelligent system of the Female Body. It is weaved into the Centre of us, and plays a role like the Sun does in in the Solar System. If we pay Attention to the details of how our Biology functions, how our Hormones dance in a Cycle, how everything from the food we eat, to what we put onto our skin, the stress we hold in our body, to the relationships we have around us, affects our Beings.
We can begin using this dance of hormones to our advantage, by paying attention to, and understanding the Menstrual Cycle on a Pharmacological and Physiological and Holistic level, we can notice the subtelities of our day to days, the hormonal influence on what that means for our bodily needs, dietary wise, rest wise, energy wise, and therefore we can shape our whole lives around the centre that dictates and has influence on the whole of us.
Our Menstrual Cycle, holds the potential of Life every Month. Depending on what you Create, whether you Birth Projects or whether you Birth through a Physical Soul and Life, there is a monthly Death & Life cycle that either sheds or forms onto build onto the next cycle. An Inner Monthly cycle which reveals to you what needs to be tended to, what needs to be nurtured, and what will live and what will Die.
Fusing Ecology, Holistic Living and Science of the Body we can form an Insight into how we can Live with our Cycles instead of rejecting what is within our Centres. We can Use our cycles to our advantage, and have your Menstrual Cycle work with you, rather against you.
Cycle Tracking, educating yourself on your Body is your Path to Sovereignty and Liberation.
covering all the things
COMING SOON
preview the curriculum below
more details coming soon for WINTER 2025 Cohort
email : connect@thehumanconnection.io
Making Love,
Cycle Charting & Herbs
SELF DEVOTION :
when shit is falling apart.
– Decolonising our Health– what do they teach us here?
– Looking at the Roots
– Back to Basics
– Herbal Teas for Support
– Managing Grief
-Suicidal Ideation
-Creating on Purpose
-Prayer
– Commitment
– Psychedelics
WHAT ARE YOU CONSUMING?
Endocrine Disruption
The Skin as the Biggest Organ
European Beauty Standards
Who Are You Really?
What are you here for?
What were you taught? Which Society? What did your Roots tell you? Which parts hurt? Lets look at our History, Our Autobiography
Depression, Self – Rejection, Shame, Hatred, Punishment, Abandonment, Seeking Validation, People Pleasing,
Strengthening the Heart & Spirit – Remembering Love
WATER WORK – A Series
Womb Water Rituals
Plant Spirits
Asking for Protection
How to Pray, Prayer, Dialogue
Cleansing as Preparation
Ocean Work & Bodies of Water
Decolonising our Minds
Elements
The Endo-Cannabinoiid System
Decolonise your History
the Spirit of Mary Jane & Her Embrace
& Her Messages
Pain & Cannabis
Coping & Addiction Intro
Plants & Purpose
whats your relationship to the ecosystem around you?
Ecology
plants for Grief & hard times
healing through Beauty
pharmacology & physiology of Plants
Herbalism. & History
decolonisation of health
Herbs for Grief
Portals of time
and Energy
Working with Cacao
Nature as a teacher
Energy Release Rituals
Rebuilding Identity after Loss
Writing to Release
GUT HEALING
Herbs
Diet
Retraining the Gut
Emotional Healing
Detoxing
Heliobacter Plyori
Acidity
Teaching the Body to Trust again
My background in BSc Pharmacology & Physiology has been the foundation for all of my work. Understanding the pharmaceutical constituents of the drugs I worked with, and studied was how I was trained to understand Medicine, alongside the Physiology of the Body, and how these drugs interacted with the different Bodily Systems. I graduated from the University of Kent & Greenwich, at Medway School of Pharmacy and my Dissertation Project was a Metabolomics study for identifying urinary biomarkers associated with glomerular injury using a mouse model (laboratory based). After graduating in 2018, receiving an Upper Class 2:1 Degree, I moved to the Netherlands where I began to work for a Biotechnology CDMO, and worked for a over a year in the EU Market in cell culturing in breakthrough Cancer CAR-T Therapy. Here I was responsible for Manufacturing (cell and tissue culturing) of cell therapy products in accordance with GMP regulations in aseptic technique. I was trained both in the Netherlands, but also had a 3 Week Training Programme in Walkersville in the States, for aseptic technique, preparing cell culture media, inoculation of cell media, transfer of cell culture and harvesting. Working as a Stem Cell Therapy Specialist, here I generated, revised and executing clinical Standard Operating Procedures (SOPS), and equipment validation protocols, under the supervision of Team Leaders. We were trained in accurate documentation according to GMP (filling out batch records, writing reports, creating and reviewing part of specifications), this skill was actively used daily, in the cleanroom as we documented the clinical lab data we carried out and then we would review this work, alongside a Specialised Person who would review this work again. We would also be responsible, for notifying our Supervisors of all and any observed deviations in a timely manner and participate in the follow up of deviations, CAPA’s and changes. Our team would carry out associated duties in the Cleanroom, including assistance with environmental monitoring of the cleanroom facility, room clearance, cleaning and troubleshooting of equipment. We were also trained in manintaing and using the Liquid Nitrogen Freezers for preserving and containing patient Stem Cells.
My work for this CDMO company, was not limited to only Cleanroom activities but extended heavily in Good Documentation Practises, working closely alongside Quality Assurance team and the QP (Qualified Person). The last 4 months of my work with this team, I worked closely with the QA team, and was in charge of closing outstanding investigation of non-conformances.
4 years later I would then go to work in Amsterdam directly for the Client that I was working for in the CDMO, but in the Quality Assurance department. In Amsterdam I worked for KITE Pharma, and got to gain a strong understanding and practise in Documentation, as the team we worked for was Quality Systems Document Control. I was part of the Logbook Team, and also was elected as part of the Diversity & Inclusion Team and would write articles for the Companies Newsletter. Kite Pharma in the last 5 years has fast tracked both its clinical and commercial trials, to being used on the 2nd line of treatment for Cancer instead of the third. You can check out more information @ Kite Pharma of Gilead Sciences.
“June 14, 2024
– Analysis Shows Manufacturing of Yescarta in Second-Line Treatment of Relapsed/Refractory Large B-cell Lymphoma Can Help Reduce Time from Leukapheresis to Infusion vs. Third-Line+ Treatment –”
Through my own Story with Endometriosis, and multiple health problems including a Hiatal Hernia, ongoing Gut Dyspepsia and Acidity Issues, an overactive Central Nervous System, an unending Depression and a long history of Suicidal Ideation, I was passed around the Western Medical System in England and the Netherlands, across several different cities, in Doctors Offices, meeting Specialists, Surgeons, and being on the Operating table too many times. I was taking an array of of medication, over the course of the last 10 years, a struggle in which, my health problems were not alleviating in the systems, nor was my pain getting any better.
I was helpless, the pain was excruciating, the Doctors would never offer any advice that would be practical. I was just constantly having my Medication being increased in dose, of which at 18 years old I couldn’t quite grasp at how I could cope with all this pain. But at some point, I just accepted that this would be my life. I was grappling with my life everyday, whilst my own Body became a Living Hell. Let alone trying to grapple with the outside world. Health issues, within my family were also a norm. I grew up having the Hospital become a second home. Everyone was severely sick, suffering from chronic health issues, including Arthritis, Osteoporosis, Kidney Diseases, Heart Problems, DVT, Cancer, Diabetes, Herniated Disks, Fanconi Syndrome, my Grandfather had Motor Neurone Disease (MND). With a long line history of Kidney disease, that has affected every single person in my family, I looked into some of the causes of Fanconi Syndrome and ‘Heavy Metal Toxicity’ showed up, my cousin told me to look into it, from the biomedical perspective, and there it was: The Rawalpindi Punjab DDT Trials. My family were Farmers in Rawalpindi, Punjab in Pakistan. We were part of a worldwide DDT Pesticide Testing. Refer to The Seeds of Vandana Shiva’s to get the full History of what happened here.
At the Age of 18, I ended up in the A&E department of the local Hospital, with crippling daily pain . Through a series of tests, and pain that would not allievate, the Gastroenterology Department performed a Laproscopy on me whereby I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. They discovered cysts which they removed, and ablated (fulgaration) endometriosis tisssue they discovered.
After the surgery, and a distorted belly button, and small incisions on my navel, and extreme pain in my shoulders from the Balloon they had deflated in my belly which they blew up to perform the Laproscopy. I was left with a Male Doctor telling me that I had Endometriosis, before I asked for more pain relief, and they gave me more Anaesthetic and I went back into dream state. I woke up 10 hours after surgery, and the doctors, nurses and the other people at the ward were concerned, as they thought I wouldn’t wake up from it (more on that later). They thought I wouldn’t make it. After waking up again, and being sedated again, all whilst hearing in the background “no wait, we’ve given her the maximum dose of anesthetic, no more, no more”, I woke up hours later again, begging my mother to stay with me, because the pain was so extreme. That night was horrifying.
The next day, and a night of the Nurses checking on me every few hours, the Surgeon visited me, and told me the diagnosis : they told me they had found endometriosis lesions across my womb, and had found cysts, they had ablated the lesions and removed the cysts, but also they had decided to remove my Appendix. They removed my Appendix, because they said that the endometriosis cramps are as severe as birth cramps, and that I will never be able to tell the difference between Endometriosis cramps, flare ups or my Appendix exploding, so in the case my Appendix had burst, I would never know as the pain would just be normalised me, so out of safety they removed it.
At the hospital my Mother, Auntie, Cousin and Grandma, upon the diagnosis, all seemed super concerned and were in whispers. They were sad. I was confused. They said that a member of our community had had this, and she was not able to have children. And because of the lack of fertility she experienced, I was not allowed to tell anyone in my Family, specifically one of my aunties, because if they knew, I would not be able to find a suitable Spouse. Because for sure, out of the strange evillness of my family, my Auntie would for sure, tell any of my future proposals , she cannot have kids, so therefore I am an unsuitable wife.
I was then bought home, left confused, people in the community were left with the idea that I had gastrointestinal problems. I couldn’t even tell my own brothers, or my own Uncle that I had endometriosis, I couldn’t talk about it in the family setting at all, in case someone overheard.
I found myself on Google consulting the net to discover this ‘disease’ I had, I found myself on the NHS (National Health Service) website, on various medical sites, and on Forums which all just stated that I had to accept and live with the pain. Most women, would document the years of the pain they had suffered. Most women discussed how the diagnosis of Endometriosis took over 10 years, and they had only found out when they were trying to conceive, at which point it was too late. I was frightened.
Also this topic of ‘infertility’ and the fear that my family had put on me, that I was now well, not worthy of marriage. I also began grieving, at the loss of potential children. I was 18 years old. What does ‘children’ even mean? It just felt like a bomb dropped on me. I was confused. What if I wanted children? Education, University, Engagement, Marriage, House, Children was what was sold to me. Also everyone in my whole community followed this road, so of course I wanted it for myself. I also had the idea that being a young Mother was in my path, and all of a sudden I was robbed of it.
Specialist Meeting – Post Surgery
I had my follow up meeting with the Specialist, they gave me the options of what was available:
– Hormonal Pills
– Murina Coil & Copper Coil
– Contraceptive Implant in the Arm
– Hysterectomy
and for the Pain: Pain Killers – Codeine, Co-Codamol, Tramadol, Morphine.
I left the Specialists office, feeling super confused, crying again. My Auntie told me that she had similar problems with her Womb.
Initially my family after the diagnosis, sent me to a Traditional Chinese Medical Doctor as a first point of treatment before I started any medication. ( Background – important to note that my story of Endometriosis, also has a unique history of severe trauma – check ‘LOVE’ on the drop down bar, to see my Story) . I saw the TCM Doctor, who took my history, but as usual, I was not allowed to share the actual situation of Abuse that I was enduring at home and within my Family. My Acupuncture and Massage treatment began, also with a TENS electric unit that radiated pulses, for months, alongside some teas I couldn’t consume. Weekly I went to the acupuncturist for around 4-6months, however my pain was still severe, unending.
Due to the consistent days I had to take off due to the pain, from college, my family insisted that I return to the Doctors for treatment, as they Traditional Chinese Medicine was not working. I returned to the Doctors office, who suggested that I do a round of the Combined hormonal pill, I was hesitant, scared, but my Mother and Auntie insisted that due to the months of college I was losing, I would not be able to sit my exams and it was necessary that I take it. So I started the combined pill, alongside Pain killers, which began with co-codamol, and codeine.
There began my suicidal thoughts, at a much heightened state. I felt crazy.
Returned back to the Doctors, they decided to give me the Progesterone only pill.
During the year of my diagnosis, I ended up in and out of the doctors office for months, with pain that was excruciating. My Auntie always by my side waiting by a bent over me in the doctors waiting room. They began to dose me me up on Painkillers and yet nothing would even touch the pain.
However with my constant severe pain, despite using Co-Cocodamol, and Codeine and trying 2 different types of Hormonal Birth Control Pills (made me feel suicidal and my emotions out of control) to prevent my Endometriosis from worsening. I found myself out of luck. I was on increasing amounts of Painkillers, Hormonal Pills that made me feel Scuicidal and Depressed, and varying ranges of Mood Swings, but still the reason why they prescribed it for, was not actually working.
I was suffering from full body pain, daily pain, knee pain, hip pains, right breast pain, back pain, pain whilst ovulating, often I began having my endometriosis cramps, outside of my period. The Period being the worst.
I then moved City for University, where I began to study my BSC in Pharmacology and Physiology. Here again, I was in front of the Doctors, begging for help, for a pain I couldn’t shift. I was taking a significant time off university, because of my pain whilst on my period. I was referred to a Specialist. Here I was offered again, the hormonal pill, and here I was also prescribed Tramadol for the first time. Tramadol was an opiate prescribed to me to deal with the pain, but what I found as I did before, was that this Pain killer did not even touch the pain. I would still be screaming, crying and weeping in pain. This continued for a few years, more time off University.
I ended up in A&E (accident & emergency), one afternoon, where my debilitating pain would simply not allievate, and I wasn’t even on my period. Here I saw a Doctor, who then spoke with the Specialist, and they decided they were going to schedule a Laproscopy for me. I met with the Endometriosis Specialist, and here I was given the option of having the Murina Coil being an option of treatment.
The date was scheduled, and this time, a few weeks before my Surgery was scheduled for, for my Birthday I asked my friend to buy me a book.
This book was called ‘Womb Wellness’ by Queen Afua. A book based on ancient African Khemetic traditions of healing, using a vast number of modalities, including, dietary changes, evaluating the relationships in your life, herbal supplements, detoxing, processing your traumas, and modalities such as castor oil packs.
With nothing to lose, I began to read this book quickly, teaching me about what I now understand as ‘Holistic Healing’.
I began experimenting and decided the day of my Laproscopy, that I wouldn’t go through with the insertion of the Murina Coil. Instead they went ahead with the laproscopy, removed cysts that had formed, and did further ablations to endometrial tissue. I left with severe pain, for weeks.
The book ‘Womb Wellness’ became my experimental ground for trying to deal with my Endometriosis Pain.
This book would go on to be the first book that led me down this Womb Journey that i’ve now been on for the last 7 years. Where my pain and cycle is nowhere, how it used to be.
My endometriosis pain was not only during my period, it was daily, it was throughout my body, which radiated through my back and the whole right side of my Body, my nerves from my back to my knees. I had pain ovulating – I felt like I could feel the egg being released, causing me sharp pains. I had pains all across my knees and the whole right side of my body.
On my period, the pain was ongoing severe stabbing in and around the uterus area, that gave no relief for not even a single second, nor in any position I put myself in. My Endometriosis Pain had me BUCKLED OVER, CRYING and SCREAMING IN PAIN. As if there was a CONSTANT DEEP STABBING INTERNALLY, NON-STOP, and like someone was CLAWING MY UTERUS, until my Period was over. I often was Wondering why God was punishing me like this? What had I done to deserve this? Cycle after Cycle, and day after day my Pain worsened.
Endometrioisis pain was not only limited to my Period, it was a full body Disease, it affected my day to day. The pain would just be constant.
No amount of pain killers shifted it, and another indicator of the Endometriosis was that I had Mastalgia (pain in my breast) but specifically only in my right Breast, that felt like SHOOTING PAIN, DEEP INSIDE THE MUSCLE. Endometriosis also caused shooting pains in my anus, and during my period itself, I was unable to function, I was bed bound struggling to breathe, in deep agony and questioning what I had done to cause such suffering (coming from a Cult I was told that I was maybe burning my Sins, but at the age of 18, I thought what sins had I committed from my Puberty that were so significant to be punished in this waY? I was confused, in pain and alone.
For the last 10 years, I have found myself in front of Specialists, Gynaecologists, and Doctors offices, across different countries and several different cities, leaving with the same option each time. “Here is a strong painkiller, and here are some options for hormones you should take, but don’t ask us to do a hormonal panel test’. Over the course of this 10 year journey with Endometriosis, and multiple health problems including a Hiatal Hernia, pain under my skin alongside itchiness – so bad I wanted to knife my skin open , nerve pain across the right side of my body – radiating through my knees that would leave me unable to walk, I would be crying constantly, joint pains and frozen fingers that would form the shape of bags I would carry, chronic back pain, specifically between the shoulder blades unending, chronic migraines since the age of 6, nausea and acidity that I didn’t know went hand in hand, deep tissue breast pains (mastalgia) that would have me burning from the chest, holding it, so deep like it would come from my core- not surface level, shooting pains in the pelvic region like someone is clawing at your womb attacking it endlessly, shooting anal pains that would leave me petrified, unable to tell when it would reoccur. It was horrifying. Then of course, the symptoms I forget are also related to all this, Depression, chronic fatigue, wanting to die constantly, states of intense despair, unable to do simple tasks, wanting to Die.
Working in the Biotechnology field, in Europe for the last 5 years, has led me to believe that the answers were of course in the Medical Science field, and in pharmaceuticals (that is my discipline of course). So I looked for answers and trusted in the System I was studying and working for. Nothing came of it.
Yet still I stupidly, go to the Doctors, I still show up at the Endometriosis Specialists offices, hoping maybe this time in the course of over 10 years that they would maybe be able to present some new data, some new advice, even give me the idea of maybe changing my diet, or something as simple as running a hormonal panel test, but nothing of the sort has ever been offered sadly. I show up to my appointments, I get my blood work run, I get my intra-vaginal Scans. I show up.
and nothing.
Since the last 8 years after discovering the Womb Healing book, my whole world has been transformed and I opened the gates of understanding the Womb, our Menstrual Cycles and our Bodies in a complete different way. I have spent a significant amount of time studying the womb, using the techniques I picked up in pharmaceutical degree of reading and understanding scientific scholarly papers, analysing papers and sources, reading books upon books on the Womb, holistic and medical. I have been experimenting, and trying everything and anything I could find to help me.
I have worked with Lifestyle Changes, Removing myself from Dangerous Situations and into Safety, Removing toxic Relationships out of my Life, Dietary Changes, Detoxing, working with Herbal Medicines, Supplements, Teas, Working with Mycology, Improving my Immune System, I work with Plants, I have left jobs, Changed Jobs, I have had Acuupuncture, Massages, Cranial Osteopathy, Homeopathy, Naturopath, changed foods to Organic, Changed my Whole Houses Products to Chemical free, removed bio-disruptors from my Life, Changed my Diet, using only and organic quality products even if it would cost me, I stopped Dying my Hair, I started Training, stretching, Crying, Purging, Emotional Purging, made Art, had Therapy, pursued what I love, changed jobs, Tried new things, Loved, Traveled, I have sought for God everywhere I go, I have worked with Herbs some more, this time in their raw state, found Nature as Home, found and worked with the Elements, worked some more with mYcology and Cannabis, I trained, I got suicidal professional help, EMDR Therapy, PMT – Psychomotor Therapy, Imaginal Exposure, (in-clinic and out-clinic) Psychotherapy, had the Scuicide Team work with me closely for a Year,
I have had Gastroscopies, Colonoscopies, Laproscopy upon Laproscopy, had Cysts drained, had missing Tumors, Endometriosis ablated and burnt, have a retro-flexive Womb due to Endometiosis Adhesions, Gut Dyspepsia diagnosis, IBS diagnosis, every Antacid you can imagine, different doses, Different Colours of Painkillers, different Antibiotics at different doses, double doses, Painkillers that raged in strength, reaching Opiates, worked with Physiotherapists, worked with Endometriosis Specialists, met Surgeons and Doctors from several different countries, different cities, different Hospitals, met every type of Nurse and Health-care worker possible. I have spent more time in A&E and Doctors Offices, and Hospital Visits than anyone should in their Life.
I still show up. I am still on this Journey with Endometriosis. My pain has reduced by around 90%, and that boys and girls, is what I’m happy with. I can’t complain. From where I was. From the hourly Suffering, to now, ever-changing pain on my Period.
I mainly have Severe Pain on the first & Second Day of my Period. I stay in the house during this time. Some months its not as severe and I can go out. Other times I have severe flare ups. There have been whole months, where I have very little pain and am able to still function.
I still have severe flare ups. Other cycles a breeze.
What I can say is that, the ALL AROUND THE MONTH PAIN has reduced by 95% pain.
I have managed my Symptoms most cycles .
But the Pain is NOTHING like how it used to be. I am now not suffering daily. My understanding of the Menstrual Cycle, and the Womb, Hormones, the Body and its Physiology is so vast now. I am still always finding new techniques, experimenting and learning. It has opened my eyes up to the world of Health and I feel so grateful that I am not in pain on an hourly basis.
Learning about Holistic Health, led me on a road to discovering and building a relationship with Plants, Herbs and Flowers. A Relationship that I never expected to be so rich and fulfilling the way it has been, but its fair to say I am obsessed and a nerd about the Plant Kingdom. Nature has provided in rich abundance, and there is just about a Plant for every ailment you may have.
There is also the fact that, I have felt I have been able to overcome in moments, unimaginable things, have found hope again, through being surrounded by deep nature. How do I explain it? 5 years ago, I reached a state of suicide I had not before ever reached. Or at least. My mental capacity to cope, were at the mere thin edges of reality. I was holding on by a mm. I had been here before emotionally, but the light had run out. I couldn’t find it. I was looking for it. With all my Might. But I couldn’t find it. Hell was here, the Black had come, the pain was immeasurable. I couldn’t get out. I was fighting, and all I felt was this deep pain, this memory of, ‘here we are again’ and ‘this never changes’, ‘its been hell forever, when does it ever stop’, ‘whats happening, why can’t I function in society?” “How is everyone doing this? Why does this ideation not stop, this relentless feeling.
On the 27th December 2019, I was about to end it all, when I called my best friend. He told me, that he understood. He Understood. But that I must first go travel and see the World. Go on the travels I had planned, hold on till then. Go do everything I’ve never done. And if I still after seeing the world, I still didn’t want to live, then he would throw me a Death Festival with all my people, to honour my wish. That he understood, but first I would have to go. Go See the World, outside of the confines of Europe, all that I knew. To Go. Go Live and do all the things I never had done.
I went. I ended up in Guatemala, due to my Plans for Pilgrimage to the Sufi Shrines through India, South to North fell through, at the Indian Embassy when I went with paperwork to apply for a Visa. Due to History, colonialism, ect ect.
I end up in Guatemala, after meeting a Man on New Years Eve 2019, who told me he was going to build a house between an Avocado tree and a Mango Tree. After meeting him once after for 30 minutes to check in with the details of the trip again. The Project sounded so interesting, I researched the place in Guate, and it seemed that the other Interests I wa seeking out in India, including Herbalism and Womb Healing, was found also in Guate at this Lake. I just needed an excuse to land somewhere. I was looking helplessly, confused, about where to go, after my Pilgrimage plans fell through. I was looking at the map, confused as to where to book my flights. And this came perfectly aligned. I decided to take the trip to Morocco, Spain (couldn’t go in the end due to my health being so bad in Morrocco), New York then to Guatemala. I joined him. Expecting to be there for maybe 2 weeks, check out the project and see where I could learn, see where I could lend a hand. I had grown up with my family constantly transforming their homes, I would spend many a time, with steamer in hand, a ladder and my cousin, steaming down plastered walls. Painting, redecorating, gardening, cleaning. Architecture was a love of mine, and I loved beautiful homes, I was a kid, but enjoyed watching how our families houses transformed through design. My Dad would let me have the final say, and would be in constant question with me, about the positioning of furniture in our Living Room, and the overall beauty of the place. Cleanliness was Holy.
So. Yes. I went and met up with Phillip. Soon after arriving, ending up giving a spontaneous workshop at a womens festival in San Pedro La Laguna, after meeting some women who were hosting this festival and had met me as I’d just arrived. I arrived at the Lake, and from jumping from Antigua, San Pedro, to San Marcos, the absolutely magnificent rich scene in the background that are the Mighty Volcanoes, the Lush Green heavy Forest that lays in the background you can’t stop grinning. Me and Phillip headed to Santiago which would be our base, to and from the Jungle plot he would be building his house on, which was offgrid, and we would row a kayooko (the traditional kayaks, made of different woods, that the Mayans use for fishing) to and from this land for 30 minutes every morning, with a calm lake. Then 30-40 minutes on the way back, because you would be rowing against “Chocomil” the phenomena of Wind that comes through the Lake, that can really shake you up. We’ve capsized before. We’ve almost capsized again, our neighbor in the expat community, by chance was on his way into the Pueblo one day whilst the water and Chocomil were against all Odds came and saved us. The Water in the Kayooko was terrible. The day I arrived 5th March, the Borders went down. The Pandemic had arrived.
I spent 9 months in an indigenous village called Santiago Atitlan, the first time I went and lived in Guatemala. During this time, Nature ripped me into pieces and bought me back to life again. Nature and Mycology revived my soul, in a way I never expected it to. I was still suffering, but I was processing the grief, I was releasing, and most of all I was held by the Lake, the Volcanoes, I was embraced by the Mountains around us, that were lush green in their colour, the vastness of the lake and its tranquility, the Volcanoes and their ferociousness, in Weight and in Space. The birds left me mesmerised, shocked by their songs. The flowers, how they killed the Pain out of me. How they healed my soul, through Beauty. Through learning of the mushrooms, through building a relationship with the plants. But truly. Them teaching me, how and what, and where. They gave me my pain points, and washed this pain as I submerged from the trenches of memory, both emotional, and physical. It was felt. The Body trembled. It felt. Weeped. Went on a Journey. Went on a Journey to teach my Body that it was Safe Again.
It took me 4-5 months for me to revive out of the Death & Suicidal State. The Sun awoke me, the people, the waters, the flowers, the trees. I remember how life had returned. I was still in pain, suffering, confused, but I had found a flow. I was seeking Life again. I was curious.. Hungry..
In Guatemala, I began doing an intensive study to learn about the Herbs for the Womb, but this time I expanded my research outside of the herbal medicine that I was taking. I began curating a Herbal Directory of all the traditional herbs that were found used for menstrual health. I began a research analysis on these herbs, but as if I was back in University. Instead of studying Medicinal Drugs, I used the structure I would for research, onto the Plant. So I would strip it down to its pharmaceutical constituents, how it worked physiologically, if it had contra-indications in the body, I looked into the most recent Studies of the Plant, and found that there wasn’t many. Every top webpage I found for any herb, had intense warnings for all the herbs. It was strange, the Studies also were halted due to ‘not finding any satisfactory evidence that it worked’, it was strange because why were these herbs then recognised traditionally? I was confused, so I began to research, and expand my sources, into other literature, and herbalism. I also began a Herbalism Diploma online to support my learning of these plants.
Mushrooms. Acid, Bufo Alvarius.
Whilst being out in Guatemala, I met a Biologist called Andres, who had also studied Anthropology, he was living in a Cave, off grid, off the bay of Santiago Atitlan. This was the indigenous village that I was living in, when the pandemic struck, with a Man (Philip) who told me in the Netherlands. During the lockdown we were not permitted to cross the lake to other villages, but we were at times, allowed to cross the lake on a wooden Kayooko ( a traditional canoe), so we would do this to get to Phillips’ land. So one day, maybe the 8th Month, nearing the final 9th month, I ended up taking a trip with Andres, to Antigua, where there was a Seed Exchange Cooperarative that was hosting a Market for Seed Exchange, and we had a table there. During the ride there, Andres spoke of the lands of Guatemala and its history. During the days of the Market, downloaded a few books on Seed Conservation. These books, the stories that I would then be around, the papers, learning the History of Colonisation through Centro, y South America, my whole world changed. A missing Piece of the Puzzle, which connected the pharmaceutical industry, my own roots, my Family who were Farmers in Punjab, and the Seed Sovereignty movement. I opened my up to the History of the Land I was staying on, began learning from the People, the stories of the People, traditional farming practises.
A year later I returned in a different state this time. A Lady, Laura, Warrior Woman Laura, a Lady I had met at the Seed Exchange, very briefly, called me to her Home in Jocotenango in Guatemala. She was an indigenous Land Protector, a Woman of Resistance, she would go against the Belly of the Beast, the Energy Companies that are willing to Kill.
I lived with her, whilst I was responding to the attempted Honour Killing. Body Shut Down. Mind Lost. Body Frozen. Nothing made Sense. Nothing. Not the Days. Not the Nights. Not the Sun in the Sky. Not the God I Loved. Not the People around Me. Love vanished. Fear screamed into every crevasse. How I ran. Nights were not meant for me to sleep. How many Nights I have not slept these last years. For I thought they would come for me. It broke me. I burnt to Ash. Found a language for this pain, for what was going on. Cult. That word. fit the description perfectly. For everything that hadn’t made sense. Boom, there it was, the shock. Cult. Oh.
During this period of isolation, not understanding what on earth was going on, I spent a lot of time in the gym and a lot of time in the Eco-Park that was local to where I was staying, attended lectures about the cycles that went into their Permaculture practises in this Eco Park, their practises of the mayan cosmovision and how it related to the moon cycles, the sun cycles, an micro taste into understanding the mayan calander, and how it related to the energy in the ground. Here I also met a Mushroom Grower, and Gardener, who had managed Orchids and gardens his whole Life. He spoke of Healing through the beauty of plants. We prepared the substrate for the mushrooms he was growing, and I offered my advice on his laboratories, as some batches would get contaminated. So using my laboratory aseptic experience, in high-grade cleanrooms, I was able to to share my expertise.
After four months, of no shift in my state. Not even an inch, despite being in Guatemala, I approached a Naturopathic Holistic Health Centre in Jocotenango.
More Stories to tell. A Summary of what more is to come:
Ayurveda – The Ocean – El Paredon, Guatemala,
Andres – the Mayan Calendar, Mayan Cosmovision.
Santa Cruz – Jam, Angels/ Devils Trumpet, Flower Recovery, Ayuhuascah Analogs (mimosa hostilis)
After having a lifetime of suppressing my gifts, being told that the Devil was possessing me. Being called a Witch since I can remember, ‘”Cherail” screaming throughout the house simply because of my hair. “Shaytaan” being used more times as my name, than my own real Name by my Mother. I have had a 20+ year journey of learning of the Magic that runs deep in my blood, in my family, and community.
I have taken a journey through of which on the most part I truly didn’t understand what was happening to me. Dreams, a Knowing of things not knowing how but just Knowing things. Premonitions, having Birth & Death pass through me, Spiritual Attacks and a Spiritual Warfare that was making me suffer on a daily basis, since I was a child. My intuition has been on point in a way that I cannot explain. But for the most part of the 11 years, I just truly thought I was mad. Thought something was severely wrong with me. I would ignore the things, I would just know about, the things I would see and feel, in a way that I couldn’t explain, but all of which would come true. I knew things, because I just knew. But I would continue to ignore it. Because well? I’m just a kid no? What do I know? I also knew heavily that a thing with severe abuse, is that in Psychology, its stated that People reach to the Outer Realms to explain things that in this world do not make sense. So I thought that was what was going on. Thought I was going crazy. But the Psychic abilities/ the Dreams/ the Constant Knowing/ the Premonitions/ all continued, the Dreams wouldn’t stop, the Sleep Paralysis and being attacked wouldn’t stopped. I was begging God to help me. Was doing all the Prayers I knew. Was reading all the Surahs that helped with this, Ruqyah Shariah’d up my life, was in Wudu constantly, the house was in a constant of cleanliness, my Grandma and her Sister got involved also, and tried many ways to Remove the ‘Magic’. I prayed all the Surahs. Continue to pray Salah. Prayed all the Surahs. Would sleep with the Quran on. Slept with the light on. But nothing shifted. My waking moments were in suffering, and my Dreaming States, where I was supposed to be Resting were up in Arms.
I spent my life, being under deep Spiritual Warfare. Constantly at War with my own self. My family revealed multiple times the Dark Magic present in my lineage, the community, the ones not to be named. I observed the impacts on Black Magic, throughout the family, the impact leaving the most unbelievable things occuring, right in front of my eyes. This Black Magic, also was used as a fear tactic, something that wasn’t real I thought, a tool of Suppression, and Oppression, to prevent me from achieving the things I sought out to do. I stopped fearing the darkness, after a friend truly confronted me about the limitations I was putting on myself from the ‘black magic’ that was put on me. From there, I freed myself out of the fear of what black magic could do to me. Despite learning of these types of take-overs throughout Pakistan and across the Asias, the East, and Africa, I thought it was merely a Mind Game. Another Lie my family had put into my Mind, to fear. That it wasn’t real. But.. But the nightmares continued, continuous Spiritual Warfare, I also physically could see the Chaos and Calamity in the most bizarre ways unfold in my Family. Dark things. Death. I saw it in front of my Eyes. It was Real. Even if it was not. I was alone in the Jungle,
I was alone in the Jungle, confused as to what the fuck was happening. Nowhere to go to except the Quran, and Verses I knew. I studied. Kept Studying. Kept doing the tools they keep telling. Addressed PTSD symptoms, took care of myself. But it was like walking without directions, just going, in hopes that somewhere, i’d find something.
In the last years, I have come into my Power, engaging with God in a way I never have before. I am not afraid, I ask God to help me. I ask God for Protection. I do not deny my powers, in the last year specifically I learnt that me ignoring my Gifts has been a natural response to the abuse I have been. Decolonising my Mind, and truly learning in the Dark, learning to come into my Power, and not reject this part of me has been a rewarding Journey. As a Journey is, I still don’t know where it will take me, I don’t know where I’m headed, I just know that in the last year, under severe mental scrutiny, I have learnt how to Protect myself. I have come into accepting the Powers of being Medium I am. I don’t control it, it does what it needs to do. Though I am still under a constant Practise, I am learning to truly trust my intuition.
I am learning to practise listening to myself – the first time. Not doubt it, like they make me doubt it. Try fight the fear, when they want me to be scared. Observe the Voices they put into Me, the Shame, the Sadness, the Pain, the Worthiness, the Right to have your Needs met, the Basic Ones – like SAFETY & Love.
The Veils have Lifted, and I now trust my Intuition more than ever. Yes, I do just Know Things. I don’t know how or what or when, but I now am learning to listen to when my Body is Speaking to Me. I have learnt ways of Protection and asking God for guidance in a way, that has fabricated into a Mezcla of what my Grandmas Sister practiced on Me, alongside Prayers I grew up on, mixed with my own Intuition. I have been battling on the dark side, where hell and reality meet. Where its so dark, even Love doesnt survive. Where death is at every corner, suicide lurking at every waking moment. Where there is literal death sentences upon your head, bounties put on me, you’re not really existing anymore. You get shot up into Planet WTF IS GOING ON, am I in a Horror Comedy Show, will it ever end, how is this happening? How has this been going on for so long? Its never been good. When you’re dissociated, playing games with yourself just to survive.
I went ahead and worked in the deeper belly of the beast. I met Suicide. I met the Dark. I thought it would Never End. I have been up against the Darkness in all Dimensions. I have worked against Death Magic. On Grave Magic. On where my Blood are willing to shed my Life at the table, out of the ugliness of their heart ? Why do People Kill? You tell me? Because its dark out there Man. Its fucking scary out there Man. They are trying to make us forget about Love & Truth & Nature, God, Love.
I didn’t know when next my Mum could kill me, choke me, beat me awake, throw things at me, glasses, knives, provoke me and brothers, I didn’t know when next, she would burn me. How she would cuss at every tiny inch of me, Satan. Witch. A Man. How I thought death would be there daily, and I didn’t know if I would ever get out. I didn’t know what out was. All there was was in. There was Seperation. Division. Fear. Fear built into every corner of the family, community. All in the name of False Respect, and bad Behaviour. Punishment. Death. Hell. Death. Misconstrued understanding of what God really is. What Love is really about. I remember again. I remember the sadness. I didn’t understand why she hated me, why they all hated me so much. How they would put death sentences upon me, want to shame me, share stories, photos, lies, blatant lies, want my fall down. How they would stalk, obsess, lie, and constantly attack me. I saw the rest of the family, the ones closest to me and their Lives.
I saw the fear that had held them, their own abuse stories, their own fear, their own heartbreak, how its so hard to fucking see. and I don’t know any better, because im suffering too. But I can’t play that narrative anymore, because they are still in it. Still stuck in the Paradigm, still suffering. And the Abuse continues. It marks people. Destroys their lives. The Grief is painful. The Grief is Painful, its thick, and rich in rice soaked pain, with an aroma of fear, meat, the flesh burning, how they kill your entire Soul, your being, your innocence, your true nature, your Beauty, your true wild self, the one that is curious, the one who deserves to be love. The Soul which you probably don’t know about. From the age of 6 all the way to 26. 20 fucking years conscience and don’t get me on the developmental years of which I absorbed before I could speak or have conscience. I have memories in my body that remember everything.
The Road of Womb Work, has an integral foundation with God, with Creation, with Love, with Source. A Divine Portal, of which has opened me up to the World of the Unseen in a way I never thought, nor could have imagined. Being connected with Nature and Creation has been a big part of my Healing. When we are reconnected to our Nature, we are reconnected with that which is Source. That which reminded me of the Truth, of love, of power. I have been saved through connecting with my own inherent power, and not dismissing that which I have been gifted with.
Coming into my Body has been a Journey. A Long One. A Beautiful One. I never thought this day could ever exist as a child.
Female Brown Bodies are discriminated, dissociated, sexualised and oppressed. They are somehow both things, the Epitome of Beauty yet also demonised across culture. Hidden. Forced to be put into a box.