and whilst these tears run,
forming lagoons across my body,
these bodies of Turquoise and Yellow,
these shades of heavenly pain,
where fishes swim across chest and liver,
forming shoals, schools,
whole temple sites,
Whilst I cry this pain out,
this place where bibles and the quran, sit alike,
Whilst I cry,
Here,
I say Thankyou to the Heart,
For How Powerful I must be,
For being able to still have the ability to Love,
To be able to Feel,
Still,
To Still to Feel,
For it Means they Didn’t Kill Me completely,
Where just a short time Ago,
I was Dead.
I can Feel.
I Feel,
I can fucking Feel.
and so What a Greater Gift than this?
Yes my Tears form Rivers,
But I can Still Feel this Crack,
My Heart can Feel.
What a Soldier I Must Be.
They had Run out Life out of Me.
Attempted to Kill.
Again. as they Did.
All those years of Childhood,
Not years, But Minutes, of Days,
I would feel the Seconds. Wondering if the ever – giving Days would end.
When I could Sleep again.
But Today.
I stand in my Tears
I rise in my Cracked Heart.
What a Soldier there is,
In this Little Girl that is Me.
This Grown Ama* who lives within Me,
The Parent, The Child, The Sister,
The Soldier.
Who Lived, and Keeps Living.
Heart running up the Numbers,
On Feelings Felt and Lost.
They came for Me,
Body empty,
Vacant .
Ran the Spirit out of Me.
Not Knowing,
I was Gods Chosen One.
Had Dealt with the Demons,
Had my Heart. Protected.