Maybe punches, and slaps, and beatings that involved spices being burnt on tongues,
Maybe the shatter of glasses in my skin, on my face did not dissolve into my blood
Maybe the fear, just the utter fear of the voice that began to haunt me, and still haunts me,
The footsteps of movement on the creaking boards, walking up and down,
and the fear that ran through my veins, of run, hide, before she takes your life too
The words that ran through these jugular veins, as if they were my river that will carry me through to heaven
That the words spat in my face, while my hair being pulled, dragged through the house,
the Repetitive horrors of the beating of my brothers, didnt stop me from screaming
My tears have become a symphony, an orchestra from screatches of the heighest note, to just hums that would keep me awake at night
I am in ruins, I am in utter ruins,
But I will make it
I will make sure that house of horrors is burnt to the ground,
That no child ever weeps ever under my roof in my lifetime,
That no child will be guilt tripped, manipulated, told that flipping respect comes befor anything, that just a look with an eye should create fear in a childs heart, that the idea of family doesnt come from a forceful ideology of believing and agreeing with in everything. that you too have your own moral compass, that you too aslo are a being, that you too should have rights, that you too are human, that you are just a fucking kid who has no power in anything.
GOD FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS.
For you have created a soldier, that has more wounds than any person around. but she will not settle.