If purpose, was to be placed in words,
Then I wonder what mine will be ?
Where I must stand?
Then I wonder what mine will be ?
Where I must stand?
In the face of it all,
This sour yet so gloriously singed life I’ve lived,
This magnificent story of a young Princess,
Who would stare at the Moon as a child,
Because for so long He, and the Stars, were the only consistency in her Life,
For so long, I thought my first name was Princess Moon,
Only to find,
Years later, in the irony of how my light had been dimmed,
Tamed,
How even my name became an attempt for Soiling,
Only to discover ,
That I,
The Sun,
The Princess ,
Does not stop burning,
She cannot and will not,
Even in my death,
The star Shines
Bearing light for all ,
My Soul is that
I have never belonged,
Here,
In this physicality of space,
This realm of existence,
As a child I would dream of fields of grass,
That looked like cemeteries,
Where I would be with a basket,
Full of strawberry jam sandwiches,
Wishing, that I’d be free,.
Even at the age of 6.
Then came the Skies,
Those heavenly clouds,
I would think often how it looked so familiar,
How bewitching it was,
This place ,
Surrounded by tree tops,
Somewhere to call Home,
A part of the Other world,
Just a glimpse,
So as I laid on grass
Last month,
Post ceremony,
I found myself asking the question of one’s Belonging,
To which I realized,
There is no home in my bones where I thought there once was,.
I never have had a home,
Only places of danger,
Even in my own spaces,
I ran from bed to bed, to couch, to uni,
In attempt to be safe,
But ,
There is and always has been,
Safety in the Trees and the Skies,
Something to stay in awe of,
That was Home,
This whole time,
Whilst I was locked up,
In my Castle, for over a decade,
That small window of hope,
The trees were a constant,
They never shape shifted into Monsters
Their beauty was unmatched,
And my gaze never shifted,,
Now,
I am ready,
I want to be with Them,
In Peace,
I am ready to go Home.
Home,
Up there.