If death had a home,
It would say that I was its house ,
That it’s limbs were mine,
My eyes, my spirit , my body all taken,
It would say that it has tried to make my breath for years,
But has near misses ,
This time it has gotten too close. I
I feel it’s breath on my cheek ,
I have started believing it’s the end.
I often see how my friends carry my coffin for me,
Taking it in turns because the weight is so heavy and by God
If only I could ask for forgiveness off them,
For what I have put them through,
They are all quiet now ,
Seems we are all in troubled times .
I want to be laid down now,
We all need rest,
My hands are tired, I’m sure theirs are also
I am sorry , but I am not,
This suffering spreads like the rush of ecstasy,
I have tried;
To dance the pain out of my feet
Evoked the beast and fed her ,
I bled into my poetry, painted with my own blood,
Moulded myself into origami ,
Most shades unfunctionable
A display, an ornament for the world to see
Dulled to death,
I find beauty in everything ,
Because there is light in every cell I touch,
The flowers that empower the city are far in beyond anything I’ve seen.
The waters are deep, hauntingly,
The Volcanoes embrace me,
In their fire of warmth,
The people that surround me have nothing yet are rich in life,.
I am in scarcity
Incomprehensibly ,
An embarrassment,
I have become separate to Ameera
Observing everything from above.
Just watching how my spirit meshes in and out of my skin
Only to keep going,
Keep pushing,
I don’t know what went wrong
For me to be broken this bad ,
I say broken because not everyone is shaped like cracked mirrors,
There is a detachment that has formed
Between me and who I see in the reflection
There is nothing left
There is nothing anyone could have done ,
I am so grateful to those I have met, to those I have lost, to those who observed .
It is easier this way.