Where do I begin?
What do I do?
How do I do this?
Where do I begin Unpicking the stitches?
The Ones woven into our Blanket?
The Fabric has been ripped apart,
Slit down the Centre,
Jagged, Across all the Edges,
Cut with his Own hands.
Wounded,
there was Blood Seeping out of his Chest,
Across Belly, my favourite Belly,
Bewildered, my Beloved,
my Beloved, Bleeding,
This Whole time,
I was Ripping into myself,
Tending to the Weft,
Magnifying Glass as to where my Heart had been taken Hostage from my Past,,
Where I had been Bruised in Places that I could not know until now,
I began swapping out Cloth,
Different Fabrics,
Tried Stitching us together with different Patterns,
Thought our Different Cuts Could Fit,
I have been Working, Struggling, Loving,
Crying,
Always Crying,
Loving, despite carrying Fear on my back,
Trying to Gather the Courage to Live Again,
To Love Again,
to Believe Again,
I tried to Fit but couldn’t.
I kept Trying to Fit, but couldn’t.
I Believed.
I Truly Believed.
Was I Blind?
Am I home Again?
This is not Safe,
Am I Home Again?
Where do I begin Feeling?
Whats happening?
How do I tend to these Wounds?
My Eyes are Shattered,
I don’t know where to Look,
my Body is Trembling,
I am Shaking,
My baby, my Man,
my baby,
my Man,
My babe.
Am I home Again?
Am I again in Bad Company?
I did it again didn’t I?
Tried to fit in, where I didn’t Belong.
I don’t belong here,
Does the Flesh need tending to?
Does Water Burn the Cuts,
Is the Tea being Drunk?
Does he Need a Hand?
His precious beautiful Skin,
the One that smells of Home,
now Ruptured,
in Marks, made by Deep Cuts,
Stitches couldn’t heal the wounds,
These are Hurt Hands,
These are pained Eyes,
My Precious Body of His,
God did not create us,
to Let us Break Us,
Love failed here.
I gave it my All,
New Territory,
I thought we both Declared our Life at the Altar,
Thought we made a Promise to Live.
Which Wound do I Tend Do?
Everything has Erupted from Under the Skin,
to the Light,
I cant Breathe.