The end had eaten my eyes from feeling any fight,
All soldiers poisened
Awaiting their own graves
I had already began digging
Wrote letters to lovers to tell them that the end had looted me
Then, just as I opened my arms up to embrace my fate,
I fell into deep waters
The vast ocean sucked me in, as if my Protectors had come down from the heavens to stop the Sin.
I saw the way out, hooked myself on it not knowing the outcome,
And I ran
I ran like a Jaguar to its prey,
Secured the ticket
Yet grudged through the final Days
As the spirit had already started to obliterate,
The smoking had started,
When I arrived,
He took me to the waters and rung me out of all the lies I had been sold,
Stripped me of all my faces, my skin felt on fire,
Yet the water he placed burnt,
I laughed and laughed,
As if the words didn’t hurt,
The survivor complex I had riddled myself with still present,
Misunderstood,
The waters showed truth,
He showed me the way,
Became a beacon to carry the collapsed body,
Without emotion,
Only a beam was put behind back,
I craved affection and none was given,
The affection was the Toughness
Verbal communication became limited
I became silence. Only listened,
Whilst alone I washed myself in bleach,
In astringent to burn the lies out of flesh,
To identify with Self in a new way,
I made wudu to my past,
I washed my hands, my elbows, my mouth, my nose, my face, my ears, my hair, my feet,
I felt the need to weep but nothing left my eyes
I left the Cult I made out of myself
Rewrote the Manual,
Learnt that pain is a language, a Script that coats the mouth as if toffee,
If you have never endured, then you will never know the taste,
Never know the mouth of what the dirty waters which lay beneath surface feel like,
I strive harder now,
Like the flowers that grow in scarcity
I am recarving my body,
A new story is being fed to the starving body,
One that Can Do ,
One that Does.
I will be happy
I am having a rebirth,
A difficult labour,
Spring is here,
A surgery for the soul is being undergone