We have families who hurl abuse to their kids
Like war orchestras,
A daily tragedy where a child goes to school wishing not to come back
I sometimes wonder what went wrong
What went so utterly wrong in the system,
Or these brains to believe that any of this was okay
That love came after,
Manipulation, fear and guilt
Many a time I was convinced that being told what to do from fear was correct
The “eyes” were given, and out of fear you were supposed to agree
What sickening bastards raised me,
We have families who do not correct their tongue in front of children
Instead stomachs churn up rancid molested words, and damage which leave kids traumatised
I see public humiliation of children in the street
I see no one stop or correct the parent
I see the lack of acknowledgement
Parents sit knitting expectations,
Making jumpers out of dust,
Putting pressure onto minds that are not fully developed
The School system, a playground already set for abuse
Now the Home, a sanctity of peace now a war ground
I saw too much evil as a child,
At 10 I told my auntie I didn’t want to come home anymore
By 12 I had been beaten so severely, she had left me bleeding and I went to school
By 13 my dad had passed, and her tongue and hand didn’t stop
By 15, I was screaming for help, asking those who I thought had sense and love
But instead I got told to respect her, and that I was a bad a child
I was a girl, so sensitive
At 16 they said to shut up, to love her, we help you by picking you up
But we send you right back again
They told me to love her, told me never to tell a single soul
At 17 I was suicidal, but this became my demon to haunt me for years to come
Would it ever stop
18, they forced me to go birthday shopping with her,
Do it for her they said, she loves you don’t you know?
At 20, 21, 22 all seem a blur to me.
I cannot tell you what torture I have seen.
I cannot tell you what my mind has been inflicted with
Only lights seem to blind me.
I’ve had migraines since I was 6 years old.
Someone call the police I beg.
They’re all as bad as your mum, my friend says
My heart says, no they loved me,
They used to love me.