my little body, limp,
embodies the sofa, whilst my hair hangs off the side,
Like a sari in summer, floating,
My head drooped,
Mind in deep contemplation of a dark abyss,
I need to be taken to the river,
Be washed over by grandma,
Let her love heal me enough to carry on,
My organs, the food I intake, the punches I took from Her,
Over and over cause my insides to repel,
Now I am self-imploding, body disgusted by itself,
Frothing from the mouth,
Trying to discharge all that was blocked up,
A river trickles out my eyes,
Wondering when this sorrow will stop,
I push her, whip her, torment her,
The inner me,
Just the way my mother used to,
Tried to continue, despite all odds against me,
I don’t even blame her,
I just want the cuts to stop,
Now I’m stripping myself away,
using scissors to destroy my mental story,
the fears, the lies I tell myself, my people,
I am running naked into the wild,
Knowing nothing of where it will take me,
Just knowing and hoping the Jungle will save me,
Let me return with laughter echoing,
Abundant fruit in my hands and eyes,
This Fight has exhausted me,
This sadness now a norm, crippling,
Inexplicable,
Undoable,
Young Lady,
May you be kind to yourself,
You only ever wanted love.