Axe

I have lost my vocabulary,
Sentences, stuck in my mouth,
Like gum,
Dictionary burnt,
Tongue sliced,
Poetry is not bringing justice to the suffering I am enduring,
My throat is seared,
and I am stuck.

My nervous system is frozen in fear,

Simply at the thought of interacting with them,
So I choose against it,
I choose even against myself,
Breathing has become difficult,
There is a hand around my neck,
It is my own,

I am heading back on the same railroads,
I thought I had taken a different train,

Used a different map,

But this journey is familiar,

The smell of darkness is honing in on me,

I feel it in my body,

The sadness is caging me,

Suffocating me,

I am Up, Down,

Down and Up,

I know there is Light ahead,

I see it,
There is Hope awaiting me,

I feel it,

I know I have to give up these ties,

But it’s hard you know,

To have your fear resurface,

and have it scramble your insides,

like Eggs,

My tears don’t stop in their parade,
my chest is an Ant hill of anxiety,
scurrying between heart and throat,

I wish it would stop,
Wish I could forget,

The Light is coming.

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