Losing Them,
Is like losing my Limbs,
I feel like someone has tied my throat in ropes,
Every part of my chest seems to be set alight,.
I cannot contain the fire,
I have lost the Mast of my Boat,
My Blood,
the Eyes that watched with Me,
How we watched how the House became Prison,
A terror attack,
We didn’t know what was going on,
I still don’t know what to call this?
What has happened?
My Children, my small Hands , fingers, toes and empty stomachs,
My brother’s, which I tried to carry with me in my Pockets,
close to me,
Never close enough, they say.
they said I left too early,
Said I left them,
I tried to love with any parts of me that still remained alive,
I was taken out by the hurricane first,
I had front row seats to the onslaught,
I saw everything, predicted everything,
The bruises I protected against,
Yet could never protect enough.
But they will never see,
and I guess I failed.
But the ones Above failed us More.
victim support and fostering,
parents to children, Several children,
knowing very well what it means to be fatherless,
battered women and unborn children,
battered men, and unspoken grief,
I was just a kid,
Fuck.
We were just kids,
The screams would take me out,
What they would do to my Blood,
How I would hear her torture us through the House,
Sending shocks through my body,,
Whilst I heard my children get burnt,
Knew my time was coming,
Tongues covered in haldi,
she would burn us in the name of motherhood,
But they were my children,
Do you not understand,
They were my mine,
My blood, they became my children,
The roads we take to save ourselves,
Why do you think I bleed my tears now,
as if I am birthing?
endometriosis,
estranged tissue, uterine tissue,
growing in all the wrong places,
And now the Days have come
And we are Estranged.
How can this Be?
Had I not Given you Everything God?
Have I not given you my Whole Life?
Have you not taken everything from Me?
Have you not taken my Whole Life from Me,
And now turned it Upside down,
and be told to Make Sense of it
Make it make sense Ya Rabb?
And I still come to your Alter,
Pleading,
I still Surrender,
In your Beauty,
Forgive Me.
Dear God, Love, Galaxies, Blood,
Forgive me,
For I do not Understand,
And I hope I never Do,
I only had them Left?
Now what?