still present in my Mind,
still Present despite the Void I was Left with,
with no Answers,
my eyes trying to find Reasons,
trying to Make sense of the Acid that was thrown on Me,
you Looked Like Me,
Hearts similar,
or So I thought,
the Roots, bound in a Suffering,
Doused in a Hurt, that Eyes could never Unsee,
the Violence on Body which could never be forgotten,
For me, Death was my Answer,
For You,
there was Volatility, where the Room was suffocating You,
where the Air was gasped out of Your Mouth,
And you would Run,
Trying to find some Breath,
Led you to the Road,
of Using,
I understood,
Because it Could’ve been Me,
Instead Death Followed Me,
Stalked Me,
Worshipped Me,
Stripped me of my Will,
Stripped me of the Sun in the Sky,
But it was Not Death,
but rather my Blood,
Blood came and chased me Out of Life,
Came for Me, To Kill Me,
and they Almost Did,
Found the Fear had shattered all of my Bones,
Found myself walking the Edge of Reality,
Couldn’t comprehend, that they would Come for Me.
Couldn’t understand Why,
They left a flood of fear in my Body,
so I walked my the Edges of the Bridge too, as if it was my Mind,
My Eyes covered in Tar,
I lost my Legs, Hands, lost to the Dogs,
Scuicide was the Sun that never Set at Night,
The World was Upside Down,
I had been Looted of Life,
So when Connection came,
I recognised it, as Safe,
Until it wasn’t
Fellow,
Pain Brother.
Spider Web of Lies began to cover the Sky,
Quickly
Confusion set In,
On All Areas,
Started to Crawl all over Me,
Confused,
Whilst already trying to Survive.
Then, you threw me Overboard,
Alone,
Whilst I was Leaving,
As if I was a Bone,
thrown to the Dogs,
As if, I was Nothing,
as if Time didn’t Mean a thing,
as if our Laughs were just another Lie?
I must be Crazy,
A Fool,
Traumautised,
Bewildered,
a Fool.
Trying to make Sense of the Unsensable
I put it to Rest,
But my Thoughts Ponder,
Wondering whether any of it was Real?
Was it just a Con?
Like the Horror Comedy show of my Life,
Was I just a Pawn of the Puzzle?
A Place of Rest, a Momentary Laugh,
I thought there was Peace.
I just found myself Burning too Soon,
Body on Fire,
Insides Screaming,
Insects eating at my Skin,
Abandonment this must Be.
What Fool, still Suffers?
When the Violence was this unforgivable?
Cultural Differences.
This reminds me of my Blood.