burning up the flesh inside me,
deforestation of my blood,
moss grew over my rib cages,
amazon found itself a home
but now,
all of it is extinguished,
tormented lover,
I should never love.
chest should have been removed time ago,
the heart in cage,
should’ve been killed,
thought Mother had already shot it,
but no the strangling only made it more restless,
now,
I love with full spectrum,
consequences now lie in my eyes,
my body has gone into withdrawal,
this was never addiction,
this was a payback for the loss of youth,
this was thankyou,
you were plaster, the candlelight in darkness,
you were books, patience,
you were a ear, mouth and embodiment of non judgement,
you were liberation and freedom,
you are my art in every form,
every picture,
stroke of brush,
every word spoken,
you are silence now,
you are my backcbone covered in thorns and armor,
you were love.
you were mother and father and friend.
I will leave this earth knowing I have bled into the ground,
with blood boiling in ishq,
tell them mubarak and send them boxes of halva and ludoo’s,
tell the town to celebrate,
for the one who had noone, has finally gone back to her beloved,
tell them my hands leaked only art,
my blood was never poisoned,
my poision was to love.
may we reunite,
sweet Ama,
for now you do tawaaf around the air I breathe,
hajj, a pilgrimage I do everyday.
key
Halva and Ludoos = sweet pakistani/indian dessert
ishq = highest form of love, ecstatic love
tawaaf = the act on prilgramige where you walk around the kabah
hajj = islamic pilgrimage you do during the month of dhul-hijjah.