I create oceans beneath the ground I walk on,
From the tears that fall from my face,
I fear that the bubbling of emotions will rupture at the wrong place and wrong time,
A waterfall morphed into space,
carrying the tears of a young Ameera,
Since your death,
I have not been able to find a place called home,
noone wants me anymore,
my own body purging out my soul,
forming craters in the sky from the attempts of leaving,
I do not find respite in my own spine any longer,
You were once there holding me down,
A pillar of might and strength emanating from my skin,
a glowing candle even in darkness,
I was able to glow,
I grew and shone light,
But this full moon shifted something,
it bought forward the truth,
being a foreigner in another city is not easy,
another country with all their ways,
People judge before knowing more,
It seems the cold bites me,
every limb feels the ice through to its core,
the marrow of every bone becomes agitated,
I shake,
This weather does not let me grow,
I am not made for this temperature,
My temperament grows flimsy,
I feel like I am grieving you all over,
I am grieving the loss of my family,
I am grieving all the Men who have died,
and all the women who have become bitter,
I am grieving for this ongoing struggle of the Razaks,
Bastard family,
in all its tribulations.
Children should not have to be born out of this,
to be born into families with no fathers or mothers,
just ill ridden humans, mentally impaired,
who pass on their own sorrows to their children,
with hands that beat on skin, and mouths lined in lies,
Children should never be born out of tradition.
I am trying to escape.
But the Escape is forcing me to stay