When People ask me if I had anything to wish for in this Life,
I say to have another day with my Father,
Another day where I could just breathe easily
Where I do not find this knife embedded into my chest
a chokehold on my mind,
mental suffocation
A place where I can relax easy,
have this heavy heaving be replaced my gentle laughter,
Have eyes that reap happiness,
reap with plentiful joy and laughter
be a kid again
with no worries that Mama won’t hurt me again,
Because when Father came home he bought peace with him
He bought Angels into the home,
A man that weighed Respect so high above many things
weighted in Gold, and Silver,
Had over 100 people come stand at his funeral
Still have a daughter, and a wife that grieve for him,
as if they’re whole world was torn upside down that day he left
Have People who recognise me through his face,
Stop to raise their hands prayer in the middle of the street,
For this man, My Father
Having a tongue that was so clean,
never uttered anything but truth,
questioned and fought against what was so wrong
but now
All that is left in my Garden of Eden
Are Scars that lay deep in my chest
my eyes tell stories of centuries
You do not know what jewels lay sewn amongst this woven tapestry of my life
this heavy garment that I wear everyday,
embedded in ounces of wisdom and knowledge
who taught me so much before he passed,
You stole a part of my Heart when you left that day, Daddy
You took it whole, left burn marks through my veins
My very blood lost its colour,
My eyes have dried up from the tears I cried for you
In nights where I had lost the ability to live,
Didn’t know right from wrong anymore
I became lost for direction, but had you in sight
I engrained all that you embodied into my mind
But now see
Now that I’ve grown up
I understand that this Life is a Test,
That your death has led to the Lady I am today
That now when I hound for you in dreams,
Its only a salutation to the worth of You
I will do anything, and everything
To become the this Lady you saw in me
That you wished in me.