exploring my own oceans,
A shift in the waters,
Baby blue, emerald green, murky brown has begun to settle in,
From the shift of pink flowers in the summer,
I have begun to let the cold come over me,
Sitting and breathing while there is a war overhead,
A wave of grounding, even in the dirtiest of waters,
Winter is here,
and my limbs are being played like instruments,
I have been performing ballet for a few days now,
Singing from the rooftops,
My voice releasing echoes that have been dormant for months,
I feel more settled in my movements,
In the subtle eye gazing upon strangers,
The way the mouth milks sweetness upon others lips,
How my empire is being held up by my backbone, my people and books,
I hope this season doesn’t haunt me,
I will fill myself up with cinnamon and chai,
ginger to keep the bitter cold away.
There is warmth ahead,
The water is warm,
and I am not drowning,
I am swimming to shore,
a lighthouse can be seen ahead,
I see my Father,
I see Ama with her arms open,
In her cream and white,
But this is just a dream,
There is sand in my eyes,
I want to cry but don’t,
Instead I find my own self, standing, grinning,
I save myself all over again,
Wondering why I keep dreaming.