crippling it is, these emotions,
how they tear up my muscles,
how they bend and move in abnormal ways,
squirming from the news bought forward,
how foolish I am to still yearn for something that does not serve me,
what is this something? for what reason can my body not understand that this is wrong?
That boundaries were stepped on and that I cannot forgive,
Is it him that I am yearning? no,
His intellect? None,
Why does the pain remain in body,
A symphony of hurt radiating through me,
No painkiller is numbing the pain,
I have tried to,
Bringing his worth down, to that of a child,
Diminishing things into their rational state,
Reminding myself of all the stains that inked my eyes,
Everytime I lied to say everything was fine,
Did I pick up the same mask I wore as a child?
Yet he is the one now laughing,
Sharing bodies with another person,
I wonder were my words not enough?
My mind not enough?
My swollen tongue enriched in understanding,
Lips which spoke in gentle tones,
Foolish questions never to be asked again,
I am here in my puddle of my emotions,
Corrosive are these feelings,
A sensitive little bitch I must be.
I need this to stop.