In algorathims and allegory,
I find you hiding behind the specks of dust that surround me,
emanate all that is you, in the space that drapes me,
an embrace that is not yet an embrace,
its just breath,
your breathe in the same space as mine,
and for that I am thankful,
occupying all that is beyond me, in beauty,
idiosyncracies,
the one who opens his mouth to allow for laughter to be raised,
for eyebrows to be screwed up,
to remind us that we are whole,
that we are one,
that all the analogies that have been fluttering from your tongue since college,
have always frightened me yet I indulged in,
the uses of the word “cunt” and “cretin” left me in an odd state,
thinking, should I fear such a man? but yet felt so safe,
you embody parts of my heart that you should not be able to,
when I feel limitless love,
and joy it seems I seem to think of you first,
it seems as though all that is good in the world reminds me of you,
that when in middle of nights where I am in deep spiritual experience with friends,
and wake up the next day with flowers in arms,
I call you,
I leave you voicemails explaining what I have felt and that it reminded me of you,
that I am thankful for your presence,
for your existence,
and I understand that many may not understand the love I have felt for you,
this underlying love that almost is like musk that hangs heavy across rooms,
this obscure selfless love,
that no matter what you do,
and no matter what corruption we bring upon each other,
whatever curses are spoken,
we will always be forgiven,
and you will always have a place in me,
called home.
You always have had to remind me of your birthday,
I always wonder why this is,
We will always both look at future wives together,
I know that you will be family to me,
when I have none left.