idiosyncracy
your hand movements,
the intricacies around your fingers,
battered hands from struggle,
growing up in one room,
12 members, + open house,
now plays the role of home,
she is named Ama,
though she may not be your mother,
she is your Ama,
she will forever be your Ama
Don’t you forget,
who lifted you out of grit,
covered you in holy water,
and told you to forgive,
to fight,
don’t you forget now
the Woman who stood awake with you till 1 and 2am
because you had insomnia,
and you were too frightened to fall asleep,
don’t you forge tthe woman,
who stood up against men,
who spoke wrong about you,
when you were not able to speak,
she is your mother,
the same woman who played an oyster to your secrets,
covered, hid any wrongdoings,
no,
there were no wrongdoings,
she only reaped goodness out of me,
She only produced a heaven out of me,
my God,
only let a field of flowers flower out of broken backs and blackenned eyes,
she listened to an ear that was unheard for so long,
so when I tell you she is my Ama,
I tell you that she was my Mother,
the Mother and Father I never heard,
she was the voice of a voiceless girl,
who progressed in her thinking through the conversations we had,
never had a closed outlook on new conversations,
She let me laugh loud,
let me shave the side of my hair,
and let me dress in red dresses and show my true nature to the world,
Let me inform you,
that this woman,
carried an incredible amount of pain that you were all unaware of,
Everest may be tall in height,
but its weight managed to rest on the shoulders of this woman,
a chest like a rail road,
for those to cross and mould into,
she played a casket to all those who died,
but managed to whisper a new soul into each and everyone,
maybe almost god like,
but she would never like me to disrespect god like that, s
so I take that back.
So now,
for the last month,
for the whole of January
me and her both came to a new state of living,
in a place of happiness,
which was unheard of where I came from,
so we cherished this state of existence,
and my oh my was she happy for me,
and let me tell you when she cried,
when she weeped,
to ask me who would be there to watch me perform up on stage now,
and I told her,
don’t you worry,
I have got this now,
My Ama,
truly gave me her gift of strength when she passed away,
the exchange of hands while reading Al Mulq over her,
led to an altercations of spirits,
so now I hold mount everest on my shoulders,
but I don’t let it weigh me down,
I raise it up,
for this is my duty,
and she has rebuilt this spine of mine,
covered in thorns,
and spelled in strength.
Again I remind you,
that she is my Ama,
my Mother of Worlds,
of all Worlds,
she is my Ama,
and I will find her in nature forever now,
she has found her place in her garden now,
the garden she always grew,
she now rests with the rest of heaven now,
my Ama.
My mother,
and they always said to me,
that your mother,
your mother, your mother,
has heaven under her feet,
and yes,
I will finally say yes to that,
I will finally accept
that my Ama, truly did have the rivers of heaven running beneath her feet,.