SILENCED,
at the mouth, in the eyes,
through my skin,
I feel nothing,
MORPHING,
words to form sentences,
to curate something that is legible,
I try to turn the curses from mouth, into cursives on paper,
in theory it is easier,
in reality,
I am a bumble of words,
buzzing both on tongue, and in brain,
EMBRACING,
people and lovers,
yet in these embraces I have to let go,
warm, bodies close to one another,
I want to hold on,
Don’t wish to let go,
but, I do anyway,
Quickly,
Cannot show more emotion that I need to,
Can they understand?
Must I attempt to explain?
Should I even explain?
ATTEMPTING,
to ease through the next few days,
but don’t know where to begin,
what brings me joy?
all my friends just left to other cities,
my friends hearts spanned across oceans,
left with myself and my thoughts,
a jungle,
FINDING,
what brings me peace,
I feel NOTHING,
attempting to evoke emotion out of me,
I am curious,
to see what will stur inside of my stomach,
because right now,
my eyes are dim,
my words slurred,
no happiness found here,
just SILENCE,
attempting to find peace within this nothingness, attemptingto embrace this cold war,
the WINTER
is coming, and I am already frozen,
truly I need time away,
a head injury,
to vanish,
the bad past,,
a new body,
to wipe the illness,
a new family,
for selfless love,
a wolf of a woman,
to show me my wild.