create for me a pearl,
angelical wisdom in pure white,
hues of silk and milk,
caressed in cream,
that is what you are,
a beaded necklace,
with elegant clasp.
a golden nugget to hold together each rosary,
but it seems now each sphere has popped,
slowly unravelling like Cairo’s beating sand,
burning hands as they pass through fingers
trying to catch what is left,
but it just keeps growing,
a Sahara of a land,
Your body was glazed in heavens musk,
and now your body is being taken back,
misused heart cannot jumpstart anymore,
the spirit is weeping,
sparks come off like winter fires flickering,
spitting,
wants to restart over but the body cannot handle the mistreatment,
so now spine has buckled over,
skin has toughened in layers to withstand the shocks to the body,
Moulting cannot occur until the danger is gone,
but it remains present.
all whilst I sit here,
as I watch, open-eyed,
in a daze of how things got this far,
cannot cry anymore,
have not been able to shed a tear,
words are struggling to leave my lips.
cannot face facing you or your trial,
cannot sing to you lullabies,
cannot dance in rhythm to make you smile,
cannot dare to make a phone call,
to even hear your voice as you laugh,
cannot cut enough glass shards inside my throat to stop the internal bleeding,
only numbness resides,
a pathetic tale of I,
attempting to write words to explain,
why your sister could not come to terms to what has happened,
it seems everyone drops dead around us like flies,
but I didn’t realise it would also take bird from nest,
even if she has hatching eggs, chicks freely running,
yet despite this displacement of place and heart,
of words to mouth,
and feelings in chest,
this de-armouring of a cage
our bodies are anchored together,
no Lead could prevent the tribulation,
so maybe you are as shocked as I,
and maybe you cannot face me either,
cannot look into each others eyes filled with earth,
a whole ocean buried deep within irises,
so now I sit writing a poem,
thinking of you in shades of turquoise and blushing pink on summers day,
and wonder whether we will dance once again.